A sham, short-term romantic dalliance in an elite, no-uniform Delhi school assumes serious overtones and flips and flops its way through predictable ups and downs. That is the crux of Nadaaniyan, a passably lively but spectacularly shallow rom-com produced by Dharmatic Entertainment for Netflix. The strictly superficial buoyancy that the film seeks to exude is as affected as the idea that the plot revolves around. Directed by first-timer Shauna Gautam from a script by Riva Razdan Kapoor, Ishita Moitra and Jehan Handa, Nadaaniyan sputters to life only intermittently, banking on the youthful charm and energy of the young lead actors. The film juggles sundry ideas from Karan Johar’s early blockbusters (Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, K3G, et al) and updates them, without much originality, for the consumption of Gen Z social media addicts who would rather die than go off the grid.

Nadaaniyan set to mark the debut of Ibrahim Ali Khan turns out to be a story about high schoolers and their troubles with love and life. However, the film sets off the story without a theme and attempts to use everything woke all at once, while treating its female character like apologetic pick-me-up girls. The film treats the adult actors as teenagers, but they behave like they are in college and are of age while also looking to get into university abroad. The film seems like it was written for US based audience, but forgets to cater to its own market. The film begins with Kushi’s self-indulged introduction about her character Pia Jaisingh, but with each line it gets harder to tell if she is talking about her character or herself. The film attempts to create this self-aware humour of their privilege, but it begins to feel more obnoxious with each scene. After a long summer vacation, Pia returns to Delhi’s most privileged school, which has screens in the cafeteria and hallways so the principal can talk to the students. Her friends are upset with her for not showing up at the bonfire before summer and for talking to a guy who is off limits.

A gossamer-thin romantic comedy that comes across as Karan Johar’s latest home assignment for star kids to pass the Bollywood entrance test, Nadaaniyan doesn’t pass muster. Reflecting the armchair sensibility of the Bandra school of filmmaking, the love story strains credibility and tests patience. Its nebulous ideas on education are irritating, and the cultural context of Delhi-NCR is deeply annoying. Moreover, when a dated plot is ploughed by stock characters, it invariably yields meagre returns. Led by debutant director Shauna Gautam, a troika of writers promises to provide insights into adulting. Set in an elite school, the film follows Pia Jaisingh (Khushi Kapoor) as she hires a middle-class student, Arjun Mehta (Ibrahim Ali Khan), as her boyfriend to secure the trust of her BFFs. As they come close, the pretense gives way to a predictable relationship, leading to cosmetic complexities that weigh a few Instagram-worthy reels.

Pia Jaisingh, from a family of lawyers, hires Arjun Mehta, a scholarship student, as a pretend boyfriend to cover a lie in her school. Despite his academic and athletic success, relationships are not his forte. As their pretense deepens, genuine feelings develop, until all hell breaks loose over a misunderstanding. How far will Pia and Arjun go to confront their inner demons and find true love? Though the film is in place to launch Ibrahim into the industry, one feels sorry for him. He is reduced to a male mannequin devoid of any personality. All he’s asked to do is to wear good clothes, show off his toned body and if possible, find time to act. Khushi Kapoor is marginally better in the film than her debut The Archies, though she clearly has a long way to go as a performer.

Take the Dharma template because, duh, this is a Dharma film, borrow deets from a bunch of romcoms, shake ’em up, and you get Nadaaniyan. There’s the swish high-school from ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’, which lead character Pia Jaisingh (Khushi Kapoor) helpfully describes as having ‘no-uniform, resort-type vibes’, just in case we miss it. Ms Braganza (Archana Puran Singh, reprising her role, older but not wiser) is back. No student ever seems to go to class: that’s not changed, either. And those who’ve been missing that shooting star, so cute, ya, fear not: it gets a look-see, too.

The Principal’s dying to be cool. The acronym-loving kind of cool that says YOLO, You Only Live Once. That’s a hat tip from debut-making director Shauna Gautam to mentor Karan Johar in whose debut film Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Archana Puran Singh had played the same ditzy role. The rest of the film too, continues to be Johar territory, revisited, recycled. I’m going to cut some slack for the freshers behind and on screen. This is a new start for the director and for new hero Ibrahim Ali Khan (playing ‘Noyyda’ boy Arjun) while it’s a third attempt for Khushi Kapoor (Pia Jaisingh).

Star kid releases have become a toxic cycle in Hindi film. No one seems to derive any pleasure from them, yet there’s one every month. As soon as a trailer drops, thousands of angry posts appear, with nothing to go on but two minutes of promotion and a vague idea that sons and daughters of famous actors are the enemy. Even established stars who came through film families can’t catch a break; last year, the release of Jigra, starring Alia Bhatt, was marked by unprecedented negativity. But with the younger crop, there are problems beyond an apathetic and frustrated Hindi viewing public.

For the longest time, Dharma Productions has been known for reminding us how rich lives matter. Time and again, it has taken viewers not only on a voyeuristic ride into the extravagant lifestyles of the uber rich, but also offered a deep dive into their ‘struggles’, often evoking a fair degree of empathy, even relatability. ‘Nadaaniyan’ is one more such film where the poor rich girl syndrome manifests itself. Pia (Khushi Kapoor) is the daughter of ultra-rich parents (Suniel Shetty and Mahima Chaudhry), studying in an ‘ultra-elite school’ where students seem to be doing anything but study. She, ‘the poster princess of privilege and entitlement’, has her fair share of dilemmas, including her parents’ failing marriage.